There are just some emails and text messages that should never happen. It is true, our brains cannot handle certain messages that may not come in person. Our brains, ears, eyes, touch, and smell need for those really tough words to arrive face to face. It you are sending a very emotional message or a deeply conflicted message, even an intensely loving message, it needs to be done in person so that the whole being can translate, hear, interpret and understand.
A great deal of bullying is by cellphone and social internet sites.
There is nothing more dehumanizing that ending a relationship via text. The brain just goes onto auto-pilot negativity and attack mode. It is cruel.
Sending a death threat is part of how the Nazis’ double tortured individuals as they separated victims out of their society. It is a form of torture.
I just saw an ad on a television program about how a mother and daughter (there is a corresponding male bonding version also) can stay connected via video phoning on their smart phones – they were in the cellphone store texting each other and crying. This was supposed to be funny. I think most mental health workers would find it disconcerting to say the least. I have read over and over again how parents stay connected by texting their kids, and I do that too, but staying connected is not the same as having a serious conversation that will bring about relief and change.
WiseEars has just listened to a couple one a soldier overseas and the other his bride–to-be stateside. It took a mediator participant to help the couple communicate well enough to resolve a serious decision – and it took 91 email messages to resolve and find connection.
The current book reviewed on Patricia’s Wisdom is about a Course that Google gives its employees. The class includes basic communications skills and conflict resolution and intrigued this post about what not to text or use email to communicate. Just like table manners and cultural differences the large computer based companies are finding they need to teach some more basic skills, which folks are not receiving.
On the other ear! Emails sent to a professional listener are the perfect spot to vent and release and achieve some constructive feedback before having the tough conversation.
We at WiseEars would like to help you communicate well and connect with others in a positive way. Who is listening to you? Did they hear you? Come on over and give us a try.
Want to connect? firstname.lastname@example.org
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